Gaming With Significant Others: An Addendum or My Response to Having the Lightning Train Swallowed By An Elemental
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So far, so good has been my motto. My husband and I have been gaming partners for going on 3 years with no incidents. He’s often the DM or GM and I never feel singled out, either for positive rewards or harsh punishments. I have always felt like one of the group and our groups have always said there wasn’t any interference with our being a couple. That is, until our last session!
With that being said, our last gaming session brought our first bout of discourse once everyone had left. You see, we picked back up the campaign we have been playing for a good portion of the year. Our characters have been traipsing all around Eberron. It’s been a blast. Up to level 9 I played a Genesai Sorcerer who, at our temporary hiatus before the holidays, helped to save a Hellforged.
I decided as a nice thematic element that I would let my Genesai wander and begin to play Pillar, my redeemed Warforged. We have played 2 sessions now after our holiday break, and Pillar has a known soft spot for Elementals thanks to the character who ‘saved’ him.
My husband and I spend a lot of time discussing the game, plot ideas, etc. outside of actual game time. Therefore, when I mentioned to my husband that Pillar seemed like his character should feel sorry for the Elemental running the train, my husband agreed this was rational. I then suggested, “What if at the end of the encoutner, Pillar frees the Elemental?”
“GREAT IDEA,” my husband tells me. So, at the end of our session last week, we had fought all the Goblins and other foes who were riding with us and ended up in the carriage that housed the trapped Elemental. I was so excited to play out my part of the story. It was going to be epic and it was… just not the way I expected it to be. I worked my magic, speaking in Primordial, to let the trapped being know we meant it no harm and only wished to save it.
I slashed away it’s prison. It burst out and devoured the train in fire!?!
What? I was so stunned I couldn’t speak. Then to top it off, the rest of the players do the, “Perhaps that was a bit impetuous?” and “Weren’t there some innocent people left on the train?”
After everyone left I did what any redeemed Hellforged/Warforged would do…. I cried. Ok, silly I know, but I was upset. I felt betrayed by my GM husband who had never thrown me under the bus much less a flaming train.
Moral of the story:
Just when you think you’re safe with your spouse running the game… think twice and remember there is always a story to be told and the story comes first… Oh, and don’t cry… it’s stupid to cry over a game… but I am a girl and that’s what we do.
Now I need to spend the next week trying to figure out what my fiesty if not fiery character will do next 
Enjoy couple’s gaming. It’s a guaranteed conversation starter! hahaha 
LOL… great post! Has he ever “killed” you yet? In my mind, nothing tests the bounds of a relationship than killing your significant other’s favorite character!
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This made me laugh, it must have been pretty shocking to make you cry though
I think when couples play and one is the DM it’s like being a pupil in your parent’s class. You’re both making the effort not to show favouritism. What I find awkward is roleplaying a romantic scene between my PC and her NPC lover (played by the DM), I want to make it cool/believable but it’s embarrasing to think it’s basically me and my husband having an intimate chat in a room in front of our friends.
The moral is: Never trust the DM, especially if he’s your husband!
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LOL Bridget, my wife will have nothing to do with the hobby. But, my thursday games’ DM is married to our cleric. She has an extremely nasty critical fumble list. When he rolls a (1) we all know that a fight is coming. It’s pretty funny (cause it’s not me).
I would disagree with you that its “stupid to cry over a game” … yes yes … I mean I’m with you on what your saying. But … it demonstrates the level to which you’ve gotten into the game. In a good way. It says something when a player identifies with their character, when they want them to succeed, when they care what happens in the story, etc. etc. Role playing games in general are potentially so amazing and cool in that regard … when an RPG GM-Group are all on the same wavelength … it can really be an emersive experience akin to a good movie, play or book. Even potentially more so in my humble opinion … because your the audience and a participant and your weaving the story real time … so no one really knows whats going to happen. That can build up some strong emotion … people cry about movies, books, plays … and its accepted. So why should one feel bad about crying over something in a RPG? To me its a sign that you were really, really into it … perhaps it was your feeling betrayed, but also your clearly very into your character and the storyline, etc. So
I say bravo to you both!
My wife will play board games with me but she isn’t a gamer … its just not her cup of tea … that said she is totally supportive of my hobbies, etc. I have no clue how we’d do in a RPG together … she’d probably kill my character first game … and if I ever killed her character … well lets just say that wouldn’t be something I’d do lightly
Nice post Bridget. BTW, I applaud your emmersion into your character. I bet your games are intense.
My wife and I have been playing D&D (and other genres, though she isn’t into those as much) for nearly twenty years, on and off. Although I DM most of the time, we have an understanding about where the line is between DM/player and husband/wife. Of course, that doesn’t always keep her from trying to gain favor in-game now and then.
Just for the record, I have had to kill off her character before. Thank god she’s a good sport about it.
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Thank you all for the great comments! And I’m glad people found the story entertaining…. cuz you were supposed to
I’ll be sure to keep all posted about our further adventures… may they be just as engaging and exciting!